I was having a discussion recently with my best friend about fucking. One of my favorite subjects! We hit on a couple of topics that we disagreed strongly on, as usual. I am hoping that you might find these questions somewhat interesting and perhaps worthy of being answered in your Sexpert column. I truly value your time and consideration. Is there such a thing as, for lack of a better term, an “auto-orgasm”? My best friend and I were having this discussion recently about anal sex. He contends that if you are bottoming for a guy that you are really in to, and he is fucking you in a way that stimulates the prostate in a deep, steady and rhythmic fashion, that he can make you cum without any manual stimulation of the penis. Is this for real? Sounds like an old wive’s (er…..old queen’s) tale to me. If it is possible, that would be fantastic! Now I feel that I may have really missed out on something.
My buddy claims that most of the stimulation is actually mental, hence the prerequisite of really being in to the guy that your with. This also relates to why sometimes it is more difficult to dilate the anal sphincter adequately to avoid a painful experience. I can remember being with some pretty big guys who put a lot of time and effort into their foreplay (a rare thing usually), and I was so excited by the anticipation that when it came time to enter me, I didn’t feel a thing. Well, nothing bad anyway! Please tell me how much of “doing the deed” enjoyably depends on mental stimulation, as well as manual stimulation. How does all of this work?
Thanks for writing in. I spoke with some colleagues and some friends of mine. I also did a bit of research. The first thing that came up for me are those great Kristen Bjorn movies where the guys who are getting fucked come without touching themselves. I believe that is a perfect example of an auto-orgasm. The concept of the prostrate being massaged in such a way that it could stimulate orgasm with no external manual help. Barring direct counsel from Mr. Bjorn and with little written information on the subject, I had to rely on the experiences of my friends and myself. Nothing like a little grass roots experimentation.
The consensus is that it can and does happen all the time. The X factor in this does not lie in the physical component of a sexual connection. You are indeed right on target when you hypothesized about the mental/emotional component. If a guy really is “into” another guy it greatly heightens the possibility of an auto-orgasm. The stories seem to center around fulfillment of some sort of fantasy for the guy who is bottoming. I have heard stories like being in a group scene where the person in question is bottoming for a number of men. One man told me about fulfilling his fantasy of being tied up and fucked in a sling. Another told a story about always dreaming of being with a very muscular black man with a large dick. He recalled that while he was having intercourse with the man he continued to play out his long held fantasy in his head. The orgasm came when he moved from his fantasy, during the act, to realize he was actually participating in the fantasy. This realization caused, according to this gentleman, the most intense orgasm he had ever had….all without touching himself. Some of it may have had to do with the size of the top’s penis or how hard he was fucking the bottom. These factors could have played into the stimulation of the prostrate. However, the key seems to be getting what you always dreamed about.
This sort of fantasy fulfillment has been the common thread in most of the stories I have been told. They all involve some level on intensity that is not present in other sexual connections. The other factor that has come up in the stories was the presence of amyl nitrate or “poppers” during these sexual encounters. Possibly the dilating of the blood vessels which stimulates blood flow contributes to the success of an auto orgasm. Hope this helps in some sort of way.