QuestionMark? #93

July 21, 2016by Mark Rutherford

Well mark heres my groups delema

We are in western high school and we cant get the
news about our gsa’s about its called (UNITY) Well we
are in a very homophobic school. things arent like
terribly bad but they could use a make over (like a
shannel make over) do you have any idea how to get
through to these kids, even the closet cases.
help us!!!

Love always


Hey Unity,  A very nice mission statement indeed.  Where is your high school?  What county is it in?  Have you tried talking to the principle?  If you have not succeeded on that level, I would suggest talking to a person at the county school board.  If there is a Gay and Lesbian center in your county, go to them first.  They will be able to help you.  They may even be able to step in and help you do the work.  There is a great organization that does this type of work specifically.  The organization is called GLSEN, (pronounced Glisten).  It stands for gay, lesbian, straight educational network.   If all else fails, try contacting them on the web. They may be able to guide you through this process of integrating into your system.


It sounds like you are doing a great thing.  Don’t get discouraged by all the opposition.  That only says that what you are doing is badly needed.  Opposition is only a sign that you need to try harder.  Best of luck to you and keep in touch.  Mark


Dear Mark, I have a question. Is it possible to know your therapist too well? I feel like sometimes I am too exposed in therapy and my therapist might know too much about me. It makes me very uncomfortable that he may have this information about my personal life and thoughts.   I’m not really sure as to why I feel like he knows me too much, but he does know more than anyone else in the world, because I have no really close friends to talk with at a deeper level, thus I’ve not ever dated, had a boyfriend or partner, but very much wish I did.  I am afraid of closeness and don’t like people touching me, and we’re working on that.  Perhaps I’m afraid my therapist is going to look down on me or judge/hurt me.  We are working on self-confidence and self-esteem, which is slow going, but at least happening




Hi Paul,  Without knowing more specifics on your situation, it is hard to give a definitive answer.  Here’s what I can tell you.  Sometimes a therapist can know you too much.  This could be because of many things.  It could be that the therapist has poor boundaries.  This includes going out with a client for dinner/drinks, sleeping with a client(happens often unfortunately), being too casual with a client.


If this happens, the therapist takes on the characteristics of a friend rather than the “blank slate”, unconnected third party observer he/she should be.  Does this make sense?  If you know your therapist too well you start treating them like a friend.  The point of therapy is to NOT know your therapist outside the confines relevant to your treatment.  You want them to be this “blank slate”, someone you can tell anything to and not have any consequences in your “real” life. And, in telling them, you are assured of privacy and safety and confidentiality.  This is the cornerstone of good mental health treatment.  If you don’t feel this with your therapist, my suggestion would be to get another one.


If, however, one of your issues is intimacy itself.  I would ask you to re-examine this relationship.  Are you pulling back BECAUSE you are beginning to feel close to this person.  Many times this happens.  Clients begin to tell their therapist all of these internal feelings but then they feel exposed afterwards.  Almost as if the therapist knows “too much” about them.  They fear that what has happened in the past in the outside world will happen again in therapy….that their thoughts/feelings will know be respected or valued.  This feeling is called “transference” in mental health language.  If this is what you are feeling, talk with your therapist about it specifically.  It will be crucial to your growth in treatment.


I hope this helps.  If you have more questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.  Good luck.  Mark