QuestionMark? #90

July 21, 2016by Mark Rutherford

Hello, im not sure if you can help me, but i hope you can. my name is eddie and i have been seeing a guy for 8 months now. im 24, hes 33. the age isnt the problem. before i got to the “point”, hes the sweetest most caring man i have ever met, 🙂 he has been there for me through good and bad times, which have been many. his parents who he has introduced me to are great, he likes mine too. theres just a certain little sex problem. he takes care of me wonderfully. when we met we were only into oral sex, which i love. I love getting sucked off i guess i can say and he loves to give. the problem isnt with me, but i have never labeled myself as a size queen, im sure u have heard the term. but i guess i am in a way. he has no dick. i mean, please dont laugh, but its VERY SMALL. when he is hard it cant be more than 3 inches, i kid you not. what do i do. it has come to the point were i want to suck his dick, but i am just so turned off by his smallness. it kind of disgusts me and i know thats horrible to say. and it takes him forever to cum. i mean i can cum 4 times by the time has cums once. im very well-endowed and i dont no what to do. im afraid he wont be enough for me in wanting to suck dick, and hes afraid he is gonna lose me to someone else. please help. any feedback will be greatly appreciated. thank-you, eddie


Hey Eddie,  A wise older gay male friend of mine once said “there are always options”.  There are many men out there who are, shall we say, “challenged” in that area.  I get mail from men all the time saying they have problems because they are too large.  I give them the same advice that I will give you with a few modifications, of course.  The size of a man’s penis, although important of some level, is not the true issue in an enduring relationship.  Nor should any body part be of significant importance.


Have you talked with him about why it is so hard for him to achieve orgasm with you?  I could be very likely he is intimidated by you and worried about his performance.  If this is the case you need to reassure him it doesn’t matter to you and that you care about him regardless of his size or expertise in bed.


All this is predicated on the idea that it really doesn’t matter to you.  I have a feeling that it does matter.  This is nothing to be ashamed of.  Many people are very tuned into the physical characteristics of their potential mates.  And some physical traits matter more than others.  The color of a persons skin matters greatly to some people.  Most people could care less about it.  How tall someone is seems to be of great interest to some people.  Or a persons weight.  A lot of guys might date a guy who’s 220 lbs.  How many men would date a guy who is 350 lbs?  Physicality matters in a relationship.  You just have to decide how much it matters to you.


My advice would be to come clean and talk to him about your concerns.  Your first reaction is that you don’t want to hurt his feelings.  I would try to work through this initial reaction and make the effort to have this hard conversation.  If you can verbalize your doubts about the relationship there is a chance the two of  you could work out some sort of an agreement.  Discuss the particulars of your sex together.  What you feel comfortable doing and what his expectations are.  Get it all out on the table so you both know what to expect.  This takes the guess work out of it and lets you both get a feel if this is going to work or not.  A couple of visits to a sex therapist may be in order.  Contact me if you need some referrals or have more questions.  I hope this helped you.  Take Care, Mark