QuestionMark? #100

July 21, 2016by Mark Rutherford

QuestionMark? #100


I’m having a difficult time writing this. I go through many days where thoughts are less then “liveable” May have misspelled that but that’s my life, mis-spelled. 25 years aga I did the dumbmest thing of all. I tried to be Str8. I got married. and now at  50, I’m divorced and lonely. Let’s face it most Gay men look for, “young, dumb and hung”. They have no concept of honesty or feelings. Yes I may be one of the few dying breed who look at the inner beauty and not the outter glitz and glamour. Is it so wrong to want to be loved and to love unconditionally. I just don’t know anymore. As for these so-called miracle workers who will swear up and down taht they can convert anyone. Being gay was not something I woke up ine morning and decided to do foor the S & Giggles of it all. I didn’t hop out of bed and say, “hey mom and dad I want to be queer now. God I hate that word. Look flat out I’m going through another severe bought of depression.


hello, im not sure if you remeber me, my name is eddie and i emailed you some time ago about my bf , regarding his condition. that it was about his penis size. that i wasent sure wat to do, weather to stay with him or not. because he loves to suck me off, which i luv, but i cant do it to him. we are stil together , he is 34, i am 24. we been together for a year. but now its gotten to the point , and i know this is wrong but iv started seeing other people to satisfy my need for sucking dick, i lov 69ing but i cant with him. i know i shouldnt string him along and its not fair to him, but i cant just break up with him, we been through alot together , good n bad. hes the sweetest guy. i just dont no what to do anymore. we tried talkin things out and he knows i wont do him, so to put it, and hes cool with that, well to a point , im just not ready. please help.   thanx so much, eddie


Hey Eddie, Have you ever considered telling your boyfriend the truth?  The cold hard truth?  I know it’s not a pleasant thought but it really is a necessary thing at this point.  You are entering into murky waters when you start seeing other people behind his back.  I know it is because you say you don’t enjoy sex with him.  But it is not an honest thing to do.  When you compensate for shortcomings in your relationship by acting out (with drugs, alcohol, sex, work) in a compulsive way it always leads to problems in many other areas.


If you really care about this man the way you say  you do, you owe it to him to tell him the truth.  Or, if you can’t bring yourself to say anything, you should at least end the relationship so you don’t continue to decieve him.  You sound like a good guy, Eddie.  I hope you will do the right thing.  You never know, he may already know what you are feeling.  Maybe through some serious discussion you can come up with an alternative that will satisfy you both.  I wish you the best of luck.  Take Care, Mark